


The Apple Never Rots

by RomanTheSkeleton



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gay Parents, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Married Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Other, Pregnant Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanTheSkeleton/pseuds/RomanTheSkeleton
Summary: After his recent trauma, a miserable Aziraphale finds himself bitten by the baby bug after meeting Newt and Anathema's newborn daughter.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

Aziraphale wandered aimlessly around the apartment, watering the plants, quietly baby-talking them so Crowley wouldn't hear. He knew that Crowley didn't actually mind. Plants were his soft-spot, but he would get particularly huffy if called out on it. Especially, of late. Crowley's mood had been a roller coaster, ups, and downs. 

He had hardly taken his eyes off of Aziraphale in days, which would have been nice given any other circumstances. It was pleasant to have a moment's respite from his husband, who had fallen blissfully asleep in the other room in preparation for the day of babysitting. Anathema and Newt would be bringing over their new baby so they could have a day out and Aziraphale could hardly wait.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Aziraphale rushed open and pulled the door open, delighted beyond words. Anathema and Newt stood, exhausted but proud, holding a beautiful, dark-haired baby girl in their arms. The angel fell instantly in love.

"May we come in, Zira?" Anathema asked, grinning.

Aziraphale shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "Of course! I'm so sorry! She's so sweet, you two!"

"Tell that to my four hours of sleep in the last month," Newt chortled.

"Pshaw," Aziraphale grunted, as Anathema gently handed him the baby.

Her name was Anges and he adored her. She fussed a little from the shift in hands and he bounced her, softly, humming in his sweet, angelic singing voice. She looked up at him with big, brown eyes and cooed.

"Oh," he gasped, "you may never get her back."

"I would appreciate it if you did return her," Anathema laughed. "I'm pretty attached."

Crowley stumbled into the room, scratching his messy mop of kinky, red hair. "'Lo!"

He gasped, his serpentine eyes widening. "Is that her? She's so sweet!"

He swooped in close to Aziraphale and started babbling at the baby, happy as a lark. Anathema smiled, sadly.

"I can't believe we're leaving her alone, already."

"It's just for a few hours, love," Newt said, visibly nervous she might change her mind.

"I know," she sighed. She handed a list of instructions to Aziraphale. "Here are her care instructions and Newt's mom's number is at the bottom, but uh...Call us, first."

"Please," Newt said, his eyes widening. "I love my mom, but she's a 'limit long-term contact' person."

Aziraphale looked startled. "And we aren't?"

Newt and Anathema exchanged puzzled glances. Newt shook his head. 

"No, why would you be?"

With a little more prolonged love to Agnes, the two finally left for their night out. It didn't take Crowley long to abscond with the baby, leaving Aziraphale to pout. The demon was as enamored as the angel, if not more so.

Aziraphale watched his husband with the tiny bundle and something clicked in him. Tears started to well up in the angel's eyes. Before he could stop himself, he started to weep into his hands. As he sobbed, uncontrollably, Crowley whirled on him, his concern palpable.

"Angel, what happened? What's wrong? Did I do something? You want the baby back?"

"No. I mean, yes, but...Crowley, I-!"

Crowley stared at him, waiting, a lump of terror forming in his throat.

"I want to have a baby!"


	2. Chapter 2

Crowley stared at him as Agnes began to cry, overwhelmed by the stimuli around her. Jarred from his own sorrow by the baby's misery, Aziraphale wiped his eyes and scooped her out of Crowley's hands. Cooing and singing, she eventually calmed down, once more.

"It's not good to let her cry like that, dear," Aziraphale said, softly.

"Angel," Crowley rasped, "did you just say you want a baby?"

Aziraphale nodded, rocking Agnes who was now dozing, fitfully. Crowley ran his fingers through his still unkempt hair.

"Izzat," he blew out a loud breath, "Izzat something we can do?"

The angel looked at his partner, hopefully. "Why not? Our genders aren't anything set in stone. I'm 'man-shaped', but not everything has to be. At least not for a while."

Crowley nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked tense, which started to worry Aziraphale all over again. This was something he knew he wanted badly and he wanted the demon he loved to be on board.

After what felt like an eternity, Crowley nodded. "Alright, angel. Let's give it a shot."

Aziraphale felt for a moment that he might discorporate. "Do you mean it, dear?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

Crowley sat down where he was and kissed Aziraphale on his soft lips. The angel sniffled, happily, and nuzzled into the demon, gazing down at Agnes. He wondered, giddily, what their baby would be like. What would they name it? He was happy, again, for the first time in a while.

Anathema and Newt finally returned to pick up Agnes. The new parents could see the obvious heartbreak on the angel's face.

"Don't be sad, Zira! We'll let you babysit, again."

Aziraphale smiled. "I would love to." His face brightened, suddenly. "We have news! Crowley and I are going to try for a baby, too."

"Oh," Anathema said, stunned. "Can you do that?"

"We're not sure," Crowley said, "but we're gonna give it a go."

Newt nodded, unsure how to react. "So, who would...?"

"Me," Aziraphale said, smiling.

Anathema smiled. "That'll be cool if it works! I can help you out, just like with your wedding!"

The angel beamed and hugged her, lovingly. "You two are so wonderful. Thank you."

She squeezed him, hard. "I love you both."

As Anathema and Newt disappeared from sight, Crowley closed the door and spun his husband to meet his gaze. He brushed Aziraphale's neck with his lips. The angel gasped, his back arching slightly.

"Well, Mr. Fell. Shall we get started, then?"


	3. Chapter 3

Aziraphale stood in the bathroom gazing at himself in the mirror. Trembling, he called out to Crowley.

"Should I change everything or...?"

"Angel," Crowley's voice lifted back, "I want you to be as 'you' as possible. Change only what's necessary."

Aziraphale glanced down at the area between his thighs and swallowed hard. Using the power at his beck and call, everything that made him 'man-shaped' below vanished before his eyes. Inside, he could feel himself shifting and changing, uncomfortably. He was relieved when everything finally.

Covering himself, sheepishly, he walked out into the bedroom. Crowley smiled, his amber eyes full of love.

"Are you ready, my love?"

"I'm a little nervous, if I'm being honest," Aziraphale said, his voice hardly a whisper. "What if it doesn't work?"

"Then we'll adopt."

The angel looked up at the demon's smiling face and walked over to him, climbing into the bed beside him. "I love you, Crowley."

Crowley leaned in, pressing his lips deeply against Aziraphale's, pushing him gently into the mattress. When their lips parted with a soft gasp, he moved down to the angel's ear, kissing the lobe delicately.

"I love you, too, my angel."

His hand moved down to Aziraphale's new, sensitive mound and he slid in a finger, massaging in and out to get it used to something foreign. Aziraphale moaned, his hips rocking into Crowley's hand. When he was sure the angel was ready, he slid in another finger.

The angel became slick and warm, his body aching with need in new ways he had never experienced. His pelvis girated desperately against Crowley's hand. He pulled the demon hard into him, the sensation maddening.

"Crowley, my love, please," he breathed.

The demon chuckled quietly, nibbling his soft, pink bottom lip. He lifted Aziraphale's warm, trembling thighs around him and slid into the new, hot orifice. 

Aziraphale cried out, dragging his nails up Crowley's back. The demon grunted, driving himself deep inside of Aziraphale's rose. The kissed each other, passionately, erasing everything around them; time, the universe, the world. Nothing existed but the two of them.

"Give it to me, my darling," Aziraphale whispered. "All of it!"

Crowley pulled Aziraphale up into his lap and pulled one of the angel's pert nipples into his mouth. He traced its shape with his tongue, teasing it with his teeth. Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's arms and cried out.

"Yes, my love! Please!"

With a final push of his hips, everything he had to give was inside of Aziraphale. When the two collapsed on top of each other, the angel kissed his husband and then pulled his knees to his chest.

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "What the devil are you doing?"

"This helps the process, I read."

Crowley smiled, gazing at Aziraphale. "You're weird, but it's part of why I love you."

The angel pursed his lips and chuckled. "Thank you for this, dear."

"Anything for you."


	4. Chapter 4

Aziraphale placed the kettle on the stovetop, preparing it for morning tea with Madam Tracy and Anathema. He gazed out the window at the glittering morning as Crowley sauntered in. The demon rushed up, wrapping his arms around the angel, resting his narrow chin on his shoulder.

"You're so beautiful, angel."

Aziraphale snorted. "Heaven's sake! What's gotten into you, this morning?"

"Can't I just bask in your loveliness?"

Aziraphale turned around and put his hands on his hips. "What did you do?"

If Crowley owned pearls, he'd have clutched them. "Here I am, paying you a compliment on a day you are looking especially tempting, and you accuse me of such things! The audacity!"

The angel rolled his eyes as his husband sidled in and dipped him. "Truly, though, my love! I'm not sure what it is, but you are absolutely radiant this morning!"

"Well, we have guests so do control yourself," Aziraphale blushed.

"You're no fun," the demon teased, righting his angel.

"Besides," Aziraphale said, looking uncomfortable, "I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. I'm feeling a bit poorly."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure we should have the girls over?"

"I'm fine, dear. Just a little sick to my stomach."

A knock on the door cut the conversation shut. Aziraphale walked over, and welcomed Tracy and Anathema inside. Both women paused in the door, gazing at him. 

"Is something wrong?"

Madam Tracy grinned. "No, dear! Just happy to see you!"

Though her voice belied a hint of giddiness, he brushed it off. The women came and sat down, greeting Crowley as they entered. He greeted them in return and then excused himself.

The kettle began to whistle and Aziraphale strolled over to make tea for the girls. Though his back was turned, the energy in the room was strange.

"So, Zira," Anathema said, suddenly, "when do you think you'll know whether or not the pregnancy took?"

Aziraphale felt crestfallen. "I don't know, honestly. I'm starting to think it hasn't worked."

"Oh?" Madam Tracy said, her voice a higher octave than necessary.

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow and started to turn. Like lightning, bile bubbled up into his mouth. Nausea swirled up from his stomach and spread out into every inch of his being. He pressed his hand over his lips, and looked toward the bathroom.

Anathema giggled. "You aren't going to make it. Hit the sink!"

Alarmed by her amusement, Aziraphale turned back to the sink and wretched into the basin. Madam Tracy squealed with delight, increasing the angel's disgust and confusion.

"I knew it," Tracy cried. "You've been glowing since we got here! You're pregnant, Mr. Fell!"

When he got a moment's repose from his vomiting, he looked up. "Wha?"

Anathema walked over, patting him on the back. She sat a small stick wrapped in plastic paper next to him.

"When you're done dying, go pee on this."

He looked up at her in abject horror. She laughed. "Do you want to know for sure or not?"

Once his sickness passed, he took the pregnancy test to the bathroom. With the instructions read and the process complete, he sat on the toilet to wait. After the three-minute millennia passed, he took a breath and looked at the test.

A small blue plus looked back at him.


	5. Chapter 5

Aziraphale stumbled out of the bathroom, a hand pressed over his mouth. The two ladies stared at him, expectantly.

"Well?" Madam Tracy pressed.

With tears in his eyes, beaming ear to ear, Aziraphale nodded. The shrieks from the two women caused Crowley to come barreling into the foyer like his rear was on fire. When he saw the excitement on all their faces, he didn't know whether to be angry or confused or both.

"What in Satan's name was all that about?! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Aziraphale walked over to Crowley and held the stick up like a trophy. The demon squinted at it.

"Whazzat?" 

Crowley stared at it a long time before realization dawned on his narrow face. He looked up at Aziraphale and then at their two friends.

"Is that...? Are you...? Are we...going to have a baby?"

Aziraphale nodded, tears streaking happily down his face. Crowley whooped and scooped him up, twirling him around. Aziraphale laughed and patted him on the shoulders.

"Easy with me, dear boy. I'm expecting, now, remember."

"Right, right!" Crowley sat him down and did a little happy dance in place. "I can't believe it. I'm going to be a da."

Aziraphale grabbed his face and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you, Anthony J. Crowley."

Madam Tracy sniffled. "This is so sweet. I can't wait to tell Mr. Shadwell."

"I can't wait for you to tell Mr. Shadwell," Anathema giggled. "Oh! We should start planning a baby shower! We also need to work out how we're going to do this. It'll be hard for you to go to the doctor, as is."

"Well," Madam Tracy said, sweetly, "I'm a licensed midwife, as well. I can tend to Mr. Fell."

Aziraphale grinned. "Madam Tracy, you ARE a treasure! That would be wonderful!"

Crowley wiped his eyes, tears forming in their corners. Aziraphale wrapped his arms around his weepy husband. Things we looking up, at last, and everyone was so happy, again. 

When, at last, the two women left, Aziraphale and Crowley sat down on the couch. Crowley laid down and rested his head on Aziraphale's stomach.

"Hello, wee one. It's Daddy! I can't wait to see you."

Aziraphale giggled, shaking his belly and Crowley, causing the demon to laugh as well. "Ugh! I imagine I'm going to get so round. I'm big enough as it is."

Crowley looked up at him, scowling disapprovingly. The angel smiled apologetically. "Sorry, darling. Just whining. It's nice to have simple things to complain about."

"It is," Crowley nodded, resting his head back down, rubbing the angels tummy.

"You'll be doing that often, I assume."

Crowley buried his head in Aziraphale's fluff. "Every day," he called back, muffled.

Aziraphale laughed harder than he had in months.


	6. Chapter 6

Aziraphale swung his legs out of bed. It took several tries to sit up, his growing belly had made sitting up a bit of a hassle. He pressed a hand to his aching back and took deep breaths. The baby seemed to sit on his lungs, nowadays. 

"Oof," he sighed.

He was exhausted, but happy. The nausea had subsided for the most part, and now he was left with just aches and pains. Crowley sauntered into the room with a breakfast tray, beaming.

"Need help, my love?"

"Oh, yes! Please!"

Crowley sat the tray down and gently pulled Aziraphale to his feet. After returning from the restroom, he sat down in the chair where the demon had placed the tray and glanced over the spread. Crowley had prepared him crepes with bacon and fried eggs. He smiled up at his husband with a sense of pride and appreciation.

"What?" Crowley grunted.

"You astound me, dear."

"I've got to take care of you, right? What with you carrying my child and all that. Look, shut up, and eat!"

Aziraphale snorted and dove into the divine food that had been made for him. Crowley rolled his eyes and flopped down on the bed. A sudden patter brought Aziraphale pause. He reached out and grabbed Crowley's hand. The demon smiled as he felt the baby moving and kicking.

"Quite the little mover, eh?"

"Yes. Always so fast. Like their daddy."

Crowley smirked and rubbed Aziraphale's belly. "I'm so excited."

"Soon, now. Very soon." 

Crowley jumped up from the bed and knelt down in front of Aziraphale, kissing his belly softly. "I love you both more than words can say." He looked up. "This is real, isn't it?"

Aziraphale tilted his head. "Of course it is. Why do you ask?"

"It just all seems too good to be true. Everything else in my existence has been...well, hell."

Aziraphale lifted his head. "You're here, I'm here, our baby's here. It's real. Whether you believe it or not, you deserve this, Crowley."

Crowley stood up and kissed Aziraphale, deeply. The demon didn't know for sure if the angel was right or not, but he was thrilled about it, nonetheless.


	7. Chapter 7

Aziraphale walked to the toilet, his back screaming in agony. He latched on to the sink, pain shooting through every nerve ending, forcing him to double over. It was as though a gorilla was twisting spine with a monkey wrench. He sobbed, anguish, and rage his only feelings. How could anything hurt this much?

He had to pee so badly, but he felt like he wouldn't make it. As he tried to shuffle forward, a rush of warm liquid gushed out from between his knees, more than should be logical. A horrific epiphany arose in his mind.

"Please, please, please, let me have wet myself," he whispered. He knew better. "Crowley, call Madam Tracy!"

"Wot?"

He groaned. "Call Madam Tracy, for Heaven's sake! It's time!"

Crowley peaked in the bathroom and glanced at the floor. "What-?! Oh! Oh, no!"

Aziraphale could hear him chanting "no" like a mantra all the way to the kitchen. Aziraphale cautiously waddled back into the bedroom, pressing his throbbing back. Every few minutes, a new monstrous grip of pain would squeeze his lower back with increasing frequency. Crowley came sliding back in, sweat and terror all over his face. 

"I c-called Tracy and Anathema! They'll be here any minute!"

Crowley helped ease Aziraphale on to the bed. The angel cried out as Crowley propped him up on pillows.

"Can I...What...What can I do?"

"Just...Stay...Hold my hand."

Crowley took Aziraphale's hand, wincing every time a new contraction caused the angel pain. "Angel, my sweet. Can you not squeeze so hard?"

"Crowley?"

"Yeah?"

"Do shut up!"

Crowley nodded. "Yeah."

He hadn't seen Aziraphale like this in quite some time and thought it best to keep quiet. By the time Anathema and Madam Tracy arrived, Aziraphale had dissolved into a screaming, writhing wreck. His pretty face was contorted in agony and his eyes were red and puffy with tears. His sandy hair was matted to him by sweat. Tracy immediately started barking orders, demanding hot water and towels. She had brought a whole kit and was ready to go.

"You," she said, pointing at Crowley, "stay or go. Make up your mind now, but this is messy business. If you want, you can wait outside with Newt and Mr. Shadwell."

He glanced over at Aziraphale. "Angel, what do you-?"

"Get OUT!"

"Right," Crowley hastily made his exit, the ladies giggling at his back.

When he made his way into the living area, Newt was grinning up at him from the couch. "Scary business, that."

"Izzat normal?" He muttered.

"Absolutely," Newt said, nodding. "He is in unimaginable pain, right now. Anathema was a monster! You're better off out here."

Crowley nodded, glancing back at the door, listening to Aziraphale's distant howling.

"He'll be fine, Crowley. Just relax."

"You needn't about the pansy," Shadwell grunted. "'E's tougher'n ye think."

Crowley glanced sideways at Shadwell and then plopped down next to them. It was going to be a long wait.


	8. Chapter 8

At long last, Madam Tracy and Anathema emerged from the bedroom. Both women looked bedraggled and exhausted. To Crowley's horror, they were covered in blood.

"Calm yourself, Mr. Crowley. It's normal," Tracy waved him away, "your boys are waiting for you."

Crowley started to stand and then paused, in a weird squat. "'Boys'?"

Anathem smiled, wanly. "It's a baby boy."

"Congratulations on the strappin' lad," Shadwell grunted, sleepily, clapping Crowley on the back.

"That's amazing, Crowley," Newt said. 

Crowley walked to the bedroom to see Aziraphale gazing down at a bundle. He looked withered but completely lost in his love. The angel glanced up and smiled. He gestured for Crowley to come over.

"Come here, Daddy. Meet Anthony J. Crowley, Jr."

Crowley felt his heart in his throat. He crossed the room in a couple of strides and kissed Aziraphale. After a few passionate moments, he looked down at their new baby. The newborn was pale and pudgy with a shock of strawberry blond hair. Crowley was immediately in love.

He reached down and tickled the baby's chubby cheek with a finger. "Look at how round and soft!"

The sleeping infant reached up and wrapped a tiny finger around Crowley's long slender digit. The demon choked back a sob.

"Are you alright, dear?" Aziraphale asked.

"I love you both so much," he whimpered.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"May I?"

Aziraphale laughed. "Of course! You're his daddy, aren't you?"

Crowley took the baby as if he was picking up the most fragile piece of glass in the world. He sat down on the bed next to Aziraphale and looked down at his son. The baby opened his tiny eyes, weakly, showing big blue eyes with serpentine pupils. Crowley burst into tears and kissed the baby on the forehead. He turned to say something to Aziraphale, but the angel had fallen asleep.

Crowley smiled, lovingly, and looked back down at their baby. "Let's let daddy sleep, yeah?"

He gave Aziraphale a peck on the lips and then he carried A.J. out into the living area to let his angel rest.


	9. Chapter 9

A.J. had been crying for hours. Aziraphale bounced him, gently, singing and cooing, but his nerves were beginning to fray. The corners of the angel's eyes had started to sting with a wave of tears that were threatening to break free. Crowley walked up with a warm bottle and opened his hand.

"I'll take him for a bit. It's feeding time, anyway."

Exasperated and exhausted, the angel handed over the squalling infant to his husband. The moment Crowley took him, A.J. quieted to a whimper. Aziraphale sulked.

"What am I doing wrong? Why does he hate me?"

"He doesn't! Look at how he's looking at you."

Aziraphale looked down at their baby boy and smiled at him. A.J. smiled back at him and giggled from around the nipple, his eyes getting droopy. It was the first time he had done, either. Aziraphale's heart flooded with love.

"See, angel? He was just cranky and sometimes he wants to see you."

Aziraphale caressed A.J.'s face as the baby dozed off, the bottle still hanging in his mouth. "I'll keep that in mind."

With his bottle finished, Crowley went and laid A.J. down for a nap. He plopped down on the couch next to Aziraphale. "I think we're doing okay at this parenting thing, don't you?"

"You are," Aziraphale said, crestfallen. "I feel like I'm doing a terrible job."

"You're doing great. It's hard, right now, but we'll get the hang of it."

Aziraphale rested his head on Crowley's shoulder. "I hope so."

A.J.'s sharp, shrieking cry over the baby monitor jarred Crowley and Aziraphale from the unexpected nap they had both taken. Crowley was up and off the couch ahead of Aziraphale; the angel's heart was in his throat. Crowley crashed in through the door to see Gabriel standing by the crib, holding a screaming A.J. in his hands. He glanced up at Aziraphale.

"Well, seems like my little fruit has blossomed, huh? Tell me the truth, Aziraphale, is it mine?"

"What are you doing?" Aziraphale said, his voice cracking.

"Put my son down or I'll rip your fucking throat out," Crowley growled.

"Try me, Crowley," Gabriel said, his tone dangerous.

"Gabriel, please," Aziraphale begged. "Give me my baby."

He held out his hands to the newly-fledged demon, his tone as calm and even as possible. Gabriel sneered.

"I could, but you took everything from me, Aziraphale, so I'm going to do the same to you. See? That's why I'm here. So, no. I'm not going to give your baby back."

"Please," Aziraphale said. His voice was hardly a whisper.

"Ooh. It's kinda hot when you beg, but no. You deserve this for what you did. You did this, Aziraphale. Not me. Anyway! See ya!"

As Gabriel lunged for the window, Crowley lunged for him, catching him in the side with extended claws. Gabriel screamed and took off out the window on dark wings. Aziraphale dropped to his knees.

"This is all my fault."

Crowley whirled on him and crossed the room, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Don't you DARE! That's bullshit and you know it! Don't let him do this to you!"

"No, he's right. I should've-"

Crowley jostled him again. "Snap out of it, you idiot!" Crowley's voice broke, then. "He's got our baby."

Aziraphale's eyes focused on Crowley's face. He stood up and stared at the window. "Can you track him?"

"You bet your ass I can."


	10. Chapter 10

Crowley and Aziraphale chased the scent of Gabriel's blood through the darkened streets. The tension hummed in the air around them. Aziraphale felt like he might faint at any moment, but he needed to get to A.J. Crowley was ever a step ahead of him, a machine fueled by fury, and desperation. The angel wanted to hold and comfort his husband but now was not the time.

They traced the stench of his foul life essence to the rooftop of an all-too-familiar place. They could hear A.J.'s cries echoing through the night sky. Crowley grabbed Aziraphale by the hand and the two of them used their own wings to reach the top. Gabriel stood cooing A.J. with an almost mocking tone, the large cockroach that now adorned him inspecting the baby far too close.

"Give me my son," Crowley roared.

"Temper, Crowley! You're upsetting the baby," Gabriel smirked.

"You've had your fun, Gabriel. Give him to me," Aziraphale demanded, stepping forward.

"That's awfully presumptuous of you, Aziraphale! My fun is just getting started! You ruined my life, remember?"

Aziraphale felt his blood boil. "I ruined YOUR life?"

"Yes, you did! I was an archangel! Now, look at me! YOU did this!"

"That's it!" Crowley growled.

He stormed toward Gabriel who took an aggressive step toward the edge of the roof, holding A.J. out of the ledge. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Easy does it!"

Crowley jerked to a stop, his face drained of color. Frustration bubbled up in Aziraphale like an illness.

"How did I do this to you?! I'm not the one who tortured YOU! I didn't kidnap YOU or YOUR baby!"

"No, but you tempted me! You're the one who should be a demon, not me! 'Fell' is even in your name!"

Aziraphale ran his hands down his face. "Do you hear yourself?! You have spent the bulk of our existences tormenting me! You have spent some many centuries gaslighting me and verbally abusing me and then you..." Aziraphale's voice trailed off and he sniffled. "You can hurt me all you like, Gabriel, but now you've put your filthy, goddamn hands on my baby."

In a flash of light, Aziraphale's flaming sword appeared in his hand. A shimmering halo of golden light appeared behind his head as three pairs of wings spread open on his back. Eyes of varying shapes and sizes opened all over him, glowing with a beautiful, holy light. Crowley but his shades on and turned his head. Gabriel shielded his face and backed closer to the edge.

"Stay back, Aziraphale. I will drop him."

"And it will be the last thing you ever do."

The tone of Aziraphale's voice was as clear as a silver bell and it echoed with stunning clarity. Gabriel howled and let go of A.J. The baby dropped from the roof. Aziraphale screamed and lunged, but a black shape shot passed him, vanishing over the side.

Fueled by a sudden fit of rage, Aziraphale charged the stunned Gabriel, ramming the flaming sword into his gut. The demon sucked in a shocked breath and coughed, blackened blood spraying out of his mouth, staying his teeth. His glowing eyes instantly began to dull as he caught fire. The clothing curled and turned to ash while the skin and thin layers of fat bubbled and sloughed away from his bones. Gabriel wailed in agony until the only thing that remained was a blackened pile of bones.


	11. Chapter 11

Aziraphale staggered as the power subsided and stumbled to the edge of the rooftop, gazing fearfully over the edge. Neither Crowley nor A.J. could be seen on the ground below.

"Crowley?" He called, looking around desperately. "CROWLEY!"

"I'm right here," the demon called from behind him.

Aziraphale spun around, almost losing his balance. Exhaustion and relief overwhelmed him as he spotted his husband and baby safe and sound behind him. He fumbled over to them and wrapped them both in his arms.

Crowley squeezed him. "I would like to take a moment to point out that all of that was quite sexy."

"Crowley, do shut up. I'm having a moment here."

"That's my line," the demon chuckled.

Aziraphale pulled back and looked down at A.J. who was fussing quite loudly. "My sweet baby boy. I don't know what I would've done if..."

The angel burst into hysterical sobs, startling Crowley, and setting A.J. off. Crowley laughed, scratching his head with his free hand.

"I'll be glad when your hormones are back to normal."

Aziraphale laughed, half-heartedly, and hugged them again. "Can we go home? I'd very much like to go home."

Crowley wrapped his arm around Aziraphale's shoulder and gazed lovingly at his beautiful family. "Yeah, let's go home."


End file.
